Here we are into the new year, and it seems change is occurring at an accelerated rate! Anyone else feel that way? For some, change is part of life and it's a smooth process. For others, change can knock you right out of your socks and have you stumbling through all the things that seem to be happening at once. Word of advice... breathe... simply breathe.
Change can be divided into many categories, so I will be using the word "change" interchangeably, regardless if the change is warranted, wanted, forced, etc. I am in the midst of a major change, which is not something I promoted or wanted. Actually, the process started about six weeks ago with a simple conversation that has now snowballed into more than I can handle. As result, I have been knocked down with panic, depression, fear, and uncertainty. Why would this occur? Well, it's quite simple... I live with panic disorder and I do not want this change to occur because I feel it will be more harmful than helpful. I can kick myself for even engaging in that conversation that started six weeks ago. As you know, a conversation is an exchange of information between two or more people. Nothing big, right? But, what happens when the conversation is more one sided without awareness to how the exchange can make another person feel? It can be incredibly painful, and a simple and care-free conversation can escalate to a point where our thoughts, emotions, and feelings reach a breaking point!
As a result of this major change, I have had feelings of anger, disappointment, and the like, which also has an added layer of emotion involving distrust, vulnerability, and fear. This has all stemmed from that simple conversation that started six weeks ago. Should I feel shame for letting it continue well into the New Year? Absolutely NOT! I feel like I fought a good fight resisting the change. However, I am well within my reason to experience my feelings and emotions as this change continues to evolve. Having said that, I question, "What is the best way to manage this change, grow from it, and move on?" No simple answers.
Change can be a fluid process. Just when you think you're almost through the process, you get a snowball thrown at you, thus changing the course of the process leading you down another path of figuring out how to manage and deal with the constant variables that keep making that "change" so gosh darn difficult to manage! First thing to note, you have a voice and it is absolutely acceptable to say NO to any change that causes you discomfort. However, this could come with a different kind of change as a result of resistance to the initial change, so keep that in mind. What I mean is, ask yourself if the change worth fighting. We may often find ourselves in situations where we have to pick and choose our battles. It sucks, but that's part of life. Choose wisely. Secondly, practice the art of communication and use the sandwich technique to convey how you feel. Say something positive (first slice of bread), tell how you really feel (filling of the sandwich), and end on a positive (second slice of bread).
All-in-all, change is the only constant in life, and we must learn strategies to effectively manage change. Is there a perfect solution? No, but there are solutions and ways to manage the change and all that it entails. Below are some recommendation to help manage change all the while keeping your self-care first and foremost!
Recognize what you are feeling and openly express that.
Don't take on the whole process of change all at once.
Identify what you can control and let go of the rest.
Identify what is important to you and convey that.
Allow yourself extra rest.
Exercise to clear your mind and start anew.
Write out your needs and wants specific to the change.
Tune everything out at some point in the day to decompress.
Allow yourself to feel the emotions.
Talk to a friend, family member, counselor, or someone you trust.
Allow yourself time to come to terms with what has changed.
Focus on your breathing during the change process. (Close your eyes and Inhale for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds). Do this at your comfort level when you are starting to feel stress, worry, panic, or fear.
Allow yourself simple pleasures.
Do something that you enjoy i.e., art, listen to music, binge Netflix or Hulu, stay in pj's, soak in the tub, take an extra long shower, etc.
Remind yourself you are doing the best you can with managing the change.
